ante_luce | Headspace set to random

So... I have no explanation other than my braincell apparently likes to partake of various recreational chemicals, and has no sense of self preservation. But we all knew that already, didn't we?

This is... I don't rightly know how to describe it. Have at.

"Bumblebee, Mirage, if anyone gets into this room or hacks the camera feed before I get it offline, I will be very unhappy, understand?"

"Yessir Jazz sir!"

“What the frag are you wearing?!”

“I believe it’s called a maid’s uniform.”

“Why?!”

“Your attack interrupted a charity event, amongst other things. Jazz, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe and Tracks had pleather jackets, I believe. And Optimus and Bumblebee seem to be dressed as some superhero and his teenaged sidekick from the local popular culture.”

“Batman and Robin?”

“That sounds about right.”

“And… you’re in the dress.”

“There was a poll. This was the result. Had I any say, I wouldn’t be taking part at all. It is highly inconvenient to be unable to transform.”

“… I’d have thought it’d make it difficult to even move. There are a lot of straps on that thing.”

“Surprisingly, no. The skirts don’t hinder my range of motion. The garter, however, is beginning to annoy me.”

“… Could you at least wait until I’ve turned around to slip it off?”

“… If it would make you feel better.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m done.”

“Great. Now can we go back to fighting each other?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Um…”

“Yes?”

“You look very pretty.”

“Thank you.”

*Sound of Decepticon being beat offline*

“Grr. I don’t believe it. They have the absolute most crappiest sense of timing, and then Skywarp has the gall to hit on you!”

“Jazz. We can get back to it later. Now, we have Decepticons to repel.”

“Oh, I’ll repel them alright. Straight to the Pit where they belong!”

“Yes, yes. The main force should be that way.”

“… You wanna lose the outfit first?”

“I don’t think we have time.”

“Frag.”

“So this is where you’re hidi- What the frag are you wearing?!”

“I foresee having to answer that question multiple times during the course of this battle. This will get annoying.”

“Well. If Megatron’s here, that means the others probably have some breathing room. So we don’t have to hustle over. You could take the dress off now.”

“Very well. If you wouldn’t mind, Megatr-”

*sound of Decepticon Warlord CPU exploding*

“Huh. I had no idea Cybertronians could nosebleed.”

“It does save us the hassle of having to fight him. Can you make sure he stays offline?”

“Sure. What are you doing?”

“I’m going to put a quick end to this altercation.”

= = =

“Did… Did I just see Prowl stalk by in a frilly black and white dress and an apron thing, looking fit to murder someone, carrying Megatron’s cannon?”

“… Yes.”

“And… Is he hefting that thing over his shoulder, taking pot shots at assorted stunned ‘Cons and knocking them out of the air like prizes at a carnival?”

“… Yes.”

“I don’t know if I should be turned on or terrified.”

“… Yes.”