Destruction'verse Crack
Oct. 3rd, 2008 01:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ante_luceThis is what happens when you read all 150 chapters of 'What's Wrong with a Little Destruction?' by ajremix in one sitting. I wrote crack, contacted her for permission to release said crack into the 'net, and got back a perfect ending for crack ficbit the first (everything past '... Oh'), and a second crack bunny. I then got careless and allowed both bunnies to meet, resulting in... Well, that'll come in the next entry. Try to guess who's talking, I think I made it easy enough.
Click for context.
Title: (None)
'Verse: Transformers.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ajremix's Destruction'verse
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Utter. Crack. Not meant to be taken as canon in the Destruction'verse.
“So, when ya gonna tell Springer that the Wreckers were your idea?”
“… Where and how did you come across such a far-fetched notion?”
“Oh please. Remember that hack job ol’ Shockwave tried to pull on you? The one with all the little presents he left behind when he couldn’t crack your lead plated cranium?”
“I try not to. It was unpleasant.”
“I’ll say, Shocky sure can throw a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way.”
“Is there a point to this line of inquiry?”
“I’m gettin’ there. Aren’t you always telling me to be patient?”
“That is usually in situations where patience is required, unlike this one. I have work to do, so either finish your exposition or let me get back to my office.”
“Touchy. Fine, Ratchet got me to help with the virus hunt, said something about sneaky mechs and speeding up the process. Apparently having you offline for any period of time excepting recharge isn’t good for the Autobots.”
“I would agree. None of you seem to have any notion of organisation, or the ability to draw up the most basic of schedules.”
“Hey, we did quite well for ourselves while you were offline.”
“From the state of my office when I came back online, I would have to disagree. Things were on the verge of imploding.”
“Can I tell my story now, or are you going to rag on about that?”
“Go on.”
“Anyways, some of the buggers in your head pulled up these really old memory files, from Sentinel’s time.”
“You went through my memory files?”
“Don’t look at me like that. I had to uncorrupt them and squish the fraggers, not like I went sightseeing.”
“Your point?”
“My point, is that what fragments I saw make me think the Wreckers were your idea. You came up with a plan for a versatile, elite strike force. Then, you sorted through what looked like the enlistment records of the whole fragging army for bots who would fit on such a team, in particular ones who were at odds with the system ‘cos they didn’t blindly follow orders. I checked the records too; you protected those bots from getting kicked out of the army. Then, you spoke to Impactor, casually bringing the strike force up as an ‘idle thought’, one he latched onto and developed. I know the mech talked to Springer about it. Now, am I warm, or am I on fire?”
“There’s no dissuading you from this notion is there?”
“Nope!”
“… Short term tactics are all well and good for winning battles, but winning a war requires one to play the long game. Sentinel Prime was a good leader, though heavy handed and very traditional. His policies were driving good bots out of the army and into the arms of the mercenaries and the Decepticon forces. This squad would have been a suitable outlet for these mechs, but Sentinel rejected the plan as Impactor had it. I was going to work on changing his opinion when he was struck down.”
“And by that time, Impactor had gone down too. That left Springer. Whom you brought to Impactor’s attention in the first place, by the way.”
“Impactor’s loss was… unfortunate, but Springer leads them well.”
“You kicked up a fuss when he went to Optimus without going through you though. Why? It was your idea, so you couldn’t have objected to it.”
“He broke protocol.”
“That’s it?!”
“Protocol is important. And he expects it from me, I believe.”
“Okay, fine. Why didn’t you bring it up with Optimus yourself then? You could have had more control over who joined the Wreckers and how it was set up.”
“Do you honestly think any of those mechs would be happy following my lead?”
“… Point.”
“For the plan to work, and to attract the mechs it was designed to appeal to, it had to be an idea coming someone other than Sentinel Prime’s policy bound, stiff and formal SIC. Impactor had developed the plan as I’d predicted he would, perhaps even better. Besides, I’d already gone over the gist of the idea with Optimus before Springer got to Prime.”
“… You’re a sneaky mech.”
“It was inevitable that he would take up the idea, and go over my head in doing so.”
“Why aren’t you in Ops again?”
“We needed a tactician more.”
“Good, ‘cos then I’d be out of a job. From what I saw, you manipulated the transfer sheets so that Springer came into contact with each member of his initial team and then some. You even got him an en-sparked ship.”
“He needed a ship. The Xantium was available and suited for a squad that size. Springer was prone to transfers anyway. Besides, he would need an idea of which individuals to take onto the squad. In the end, they were still his choices.”
“You didn’t handpick his squad?”
“Not beyond bringing them to his vicinity. These mechs need to work very closely with each other, trust each other above all others. It was best that he gathered them without my interference.”
“The calculations and planning that went into this fries my CPU.”
“Then for once I have turned the tables on you.”
“No fair making fun of the mech trying to keep up with your freaky tactical programming.”
“I would consider it a statement of fact, not making fun.”
“Hey, no making jokes when no one else is around to hear them either. So, why haven’t you told Springer? No way he’d drop the Wreckers just ‘cos you thought of it first.”
“Of course not. Springer is not a mech to disregard a sound idea just because he disagrees with its origins.”
“And boy does he disagree with you. So? Answer the question.”
“I’ve never seen the need to bring it up. What point would it serve? He’ll find out on his own in due time, if he hasn’t already.”
“And you know this, how?”
“Look up.”
"... Oh."
"You didn't know?"
"I didn't know he could even FIT in there. You're not stuck, are you?"
"Um... no?"
"Good. Give my regards to Springer, Scoop. I’ll expect his latest mission report on my desk by the end of the cycle. And don't damage the vent on your way out."
Click for context.
Title: (None)
'Verse: Transformers.
ajremix's Destruction'verseRating: PG-13
Warnings: Utter. Crack. Not meant to be taken as canon in the Destruction'verse.
“So, when ya gonna tell Springer that the Wreckers were your idea?”
“… Where and how did you come across such a far-fetched notion?”
“Oh please. Remember that hack job ol’ Shockwave tried to pull on you? The one with all the little presents he left behind when he couldn’t crack your lead plated cranium?”
“I try not to. It was unpleasant.”
“I’ll say, Shocky sure can throw a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way.”
“Is there a point to this line of inquiry?”
“I’m gettin’ there. Aren’t you always telling me to be patient?”
“That is usually in situations where patience is required, unlike this one. I have work to do, so either finish your exposition or let me get back to my office.”
“Touchy. Fine, Ratchet got me to help with the virus hunt, said something about sneaky mechs and speeding up the process. Apparently having you offline for any period of time excepting recharge isn’t good for the Autobots.”
“I would agree. None of you seem to have any notion of organisation, or the ability to draw up the most basic of schedules.”
“Hey, we did quite well for ourselves while you were offline.”
“From the state of my office when I came back online, I would have to disagree. Things were on the verge of imploding.”
“Can I tell my story now, or are you going to rag on about that?”
“Go on.”
“Anyways, some of the buggers in your head pulled up these really old memory files, from Sentinel’s time.”
“You went through my memory files?”
“Don’t look at me like that. I had to uncorrupt them and squish the fraggers, not like I went sightseeing.”
“Your point?”
“My point, is that what fragments I saw make me think the Wreckers were your idea. You came up with a plan for a versatile, elite strike force. Then, you sorted through what looked like the enlistment records of the whole fragging army for bots who would fit on such a team, in particular ones who were at odds with the system ‘cos they didn’t blindly follow orders. I checked the records too; you protected those bots from getting kicked out of the army. Then, you spoke to Impactor, casually bringing the strike force up as an ‘idle thought’, one he latched onto and developed. I know the mech talked to Springer about it. Now, am I warm, or am I on fire?”
“There’s no dissuading you from this notion is there?”
“Nope!”
“… Short term tactics are all well and good for winning battles, but winning a war requires one to play the long game. Sentinel Prime was a good leader, though heavy handed and very traditional. His policies were driving good bots out of the army and into the arms of the mercenaries and the Decepticon forces. This squad would have been a suitable outlet for these mechs, but Sentinel rejected the plan as Impactor had it. I was going to work on changing his opinion when he was struck down.”
“And by that time, Impactor had gone down too. That left Springer. Whom you brought to Impactor’s attention in the first place, by the way.”
“Impactor’s loss was… unfortunate, but Springer leads them well.”
“You kicked up a fuss when he went to Optimus without going through you though. Why? It was your idea, so you couldn’t have objected to it.”
“He broke protocol.”
“That’s it?!”
“Protocol is important. And he expects it from me, I believe.”
“Okay, fine. Why didn’t you bring it up with Optimus yourself then? You could have had more control over who joined the Wreckers and how it was set up.”
“Do you honestly think any of those mechs would be happy following my lead?”
“… Point.”
“For the plan to work, and to attract the mechs it was designed to appeal to, it had to be an idea coming someone other than Sentinel Prime’s policy bound, stiff and formal SIC. Impactor had developed the plan as I’d predicted he would, perhaps even better. Besides, I’d already gone over the gist of the idea with Optimus before Springer got to Prime.”
“… You’re a sneaky mech.”
“It was inevitable that he would take up the idea, and go over my head in doing so.”
“Why aren’t you in Ops again?”
“We needed a tactician more.”
“Good, ‘cos then I’d be out of a job. From what I saw, you manipulated the transfer sheets so that Springer came into contact with each member of his initial team and then some. You even got him an en-sparked ship.”
“He needed a ship. The Xantium was available and suited for a squad that size. Springer was prone to transfers anyway. Besides, he would need an idea of which individuals to take onto the squad. In the end, they were still his choices.”
“You didn’t handpick his squad?”
“Not beyond bringing them to his vicinity. These mechs need to work very closely with each other, trust each other above all others. It was best that he gathered them without my interference.”
“The calculations and planning that went into this fries my CPU.”
“Then for once I have turned the tables on you.”
“No fair making fun of the mech trying to keep up with your freaky tactical programming.”
“I would consider it a statement of fact, not making fun.”
“Hey, no making jokes when no one else is around to hear them either. So, why haven’t you told Springer? No way he’d drop the Wreckers just ‘cos you thought of it first.”
“Of course not. Springer is not a mech to disregard a sound idea just because he disagrees with its origins.”
“And boy does he disagree with you. So? Answer the question.”
“I’ve never seen the need to bring it up. What point would it serve? He’ll find out on his own in due time, if he hasn’t already.”
“And you know this, how?”
“Look up.”
"... Oh."
"You didn't know?"
"I didn't know he could even FIT in there. You're not stuck, are you?"
"Um... no?"
"Good. Give my regards to Springer, Scoop. I’ll expect his latest mission report on my desk by the end of the cycle. And don't damage the vent on your way out."
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(no subject)
Date: 2008-10-04 04:06 am (UTC)