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ante_luceTitle: Cuffed
'Verse: G1 Transformers
Characters: Ensemble.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: TF cussing. Crack. Dialogue only.
“Hi!”
“Can I help you?”
“Yeah. I could use a CPU like yours looking over something for me.”
“If I can be of service I don’t mind- … What is this?”
“Looks like a blast, don’t it?”
“I can’t help you with this!”
“You can, and you want to. You just don’t think you’d get away with it. Maybe you want to put those fancy upgrades of yours to work and see if you can make it so, hm?”
“… I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Neither can I, but I'm already looking forward to doing it again.”
= = =
“Hey, take a look at this.”
“… You know I can’t. The promotion…”
“You’re still the same mech under the new rank and all. The only thing that’s changed is that you’ve got more datapads to slog through.”
“I also have to set an example.”
“Alright, alright. Later then?”
“Later. And be more circumspect about it too.”
“Heh. Got it.”
= = =
“… I heard.”
“So has every bot on Cybertron, I believe.”
“I’m sorry.”
“…I won’t stop you from carrying on. They’ll need the distraction it provides. But you understand why I can’t…”
“Yeah. It’s okay. I’ll stop asking you to help me. He’s dropped out too.”
“Here.”
“What’s this?”
“The last one you two passed me. I’d finished looking at it before- … Make it good.”
“I will.”
= = =
“Prime!”
“Yes, Ironhide?”
“You’ve got Jazz as your TIC?!”
“Is there a problem?”
“Yeah. He and Sentinel’s SIC don’t exactly get along. And I hear you’re keeping Prowl on in that capacity.”
“They don’t? But-”
“You’re new to the Autobots and Command and all, so you don’t know. They’ll play nice, but you won’t catch either of them in the other’s company unless it’s for work, and even then they try and keep that to a minimum.”
“… Oh.”
“Yeah, we’re not sure why, could be just that they’re complete opposites in character, but there’s always been rumours it was something more personal. No one’s particularly willing to ask.”
“I see. Still, they’re the two best qualified for the positions, and we need them there too much to settle for anyone else. I believe they can be professional about it.”
“Yeah. Professional. I hope you like it cold, Prime. You’re going to be right smack dab between them in the meetings.”
= = =
“You got it?”
“Yeah, but are you really serious about doing this? I mean, why mess with something that’s been that way for as long as we can remember?”
“Because it’s not good that the bots in High Command don’t like each other.”
“And this scheme of yours is supposed to make them… what?”
“If they’re stuck with each other, then they’ll have to learn how to deal with each other, and maybe that’ll make them a little friendlier with each other.”
“Or maybe they’ll team up to shred your little plan to bits and hand you your skidplate, then go right back to ignoring each other whenever possible.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re just bored and think it’ll be fun to watch the chaos.”
“That too.”
= = =
“… I am going to kill him.”
“Hey, we need all the bots we can keep alive. And Ratchet will be very unhappy with you for undoing all the work he’s done in that regard with regards to that particular mech.”
“We are handcuffed together, with non-regulation energon restraints, to which the key has been somehow misplaced, all because Sideswipe wanted to show you a sleight of hand trick and I happened to be unfortunate enough to be in your vicinity.”
“I’m sure he’ll find the key soon. I thought the look on your face would have scared him into chewing the cuffs apart, actually.”
“We both have work to do and duties to perform. We can’t do either with any sort of efficiency like this.”
“We’ll manage. You can easily rearrange a few schedules, and I’m pretty adaptable. C’mon, the sooner you get to your office, the less time things will have to degenerate into a mess. … A bigger mess.”
“… Wonderful.”
= = =
“… Say it.”
“No.”
“I was right.”
“No, you weren’t. They haven’t done anything but carry on as usual, only now, they have to do everything together.”
“And a right fun time it’s been with them unable to get more than an arm’s reach away from each other! My plating’s about to shatter from the fragging chill in the base!”
“Quit being such a sparkling about it. They’ll have to- Argh!”
“Frag, what is that stuff?!”
“It’s moving! Getitoffme!”
“And get it on me? No thanks. I’m going to find Ratchet. You stay put.”
= = =
“Well?”
“I… have no explanation. He was covered in this grey slimy stuff when I left to get you and shrieking his circuits to pieces.”
“And now he’s… recharging like a sparkling.”
“Yeah.”
“And he’s bright purple.”
“Yeah.”
“… Well. At least it’s an improvement over the pain in the aft your brother normally is. Now help me get him to the med bay.”
“You want to fix this?”
“Frag no. I want to find out how he got this way so I can make it happen again.”
= = =
“Prowl? Prowl! Are you in there?”
“Little busy right now, Bluestreak. Can you come back later?”
“Jazz? What are you two doi… Oh Primus, do I even want to know… Datapads?”
“Heh, s’quite an imagination you’ve got, Blue’.”
“We still have our jobs to do, even if we’re stuck together.”
“And if I’m helping Prowl, it means I get to my office that much faster.”
“Why not just bring your work over?”
“Because if our respective workloads ever met, we’d probably end up flattened under the pile. So, why were you looking for Prowl?”
“Prime wants to see him. Something about the recent spate of pranks and Red Alert being out of commission thanks to his reaction to the first one.”
“And me?”
“Since you can’t exactly leave Prowl, I guess you’ll have to sit in.”
“Eesh. I’ll bring one of Prowl’s slagging reports with me. It’ll still be more interesting another meeting on policy and regulations.”
= = =
“Wow. Sideswipe’s still purple?”
“Seems like it doesn’t wash off.”
“Ooh! He’s changing colour!”
“… Huh. That’s actually kinda pretty- oh wait, my mistake, he wasn’t done.”
“… Eww. He looks like a colour blind slag sorter decided to make a sculpture out of whatever was handy.”
“At least he doesn’t smell?”
“… You had to say it, didn’t you? What are you doing?”
“Trying to think of what to say to get him to turn into something small and cute and harmless.”
= = =
“What the slag are you waiting for?! Get that key and uncuff them so they can find whoever’s doing this!”
“I can’t find it! I’ve practically torn our quarters apart!”
“Primus. That’s it. You’re recharging in the rec room until you stop smelling like… whatever it is you smell like. Frag.”
= = =
“… Why is the rec room green?”
“I’m more concerned about the fact that it’s glowing.”
“What, the orange furry thing in the corner not worthy of your attention then?”
“That’s just Sideswipe.”
“Oh. Alright then. So, how do we fix the green?”
= = =
“Optimus, I know you want the pranks stopped, but with our usual suspect also being our primary victim, I’m rather at a loss for leads.”
“And with the both of us stuck like this, it’s not like we can go tracking down anyone without warning them we’re coming.”
“Has Sideswipe found that key yet?”
“No sir.”
“Wheeljack’s still too occupied by that Decepticon blueprint analysis to figure out a solution?”
“Yes sir.”
“Ratchet’s still too low on supplies to build one of you another hand?”
“Yes sir.”
“… It’s going to be a long, long decacycle, isn’t it?”
“Yes sir.”
= = =
“Oh, hey Red! Welcome back to the land of the un-fritzed.”
“… This chaos is all your fault, isn’t it.”
“It’s Sideswipe’s, actually. He cuffed us together.”
“Rrrgh. Of all the idiotic things to do. You’re too much of a bad influence, and Prowl’s too tempting a resource to stick you two together!”
“Look, we were trying to be good, really. And it worked up until he stuck his nasal plates into our business. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d know.”
“Considering how many pains we took to make sure no one made certain connections, I would be surprised if he did.”
“So, how long are you going to torment everyone?”
“Well, I think we’ve about run dry.”
“Great. Now pick those restraints already. I know Jazz can take apart any lock, regulation or otherwise, and you, Prowl, are just a few variants behind him. … You have the slagging key. Of course. That means you’ve still got something planned, haven’t you?”
“Now Red, if I told you, you’d just fritz again and miss out. Unless you’d like to join in-”
“I’m going to the security room. Try and get me out, and I will not be held responsible for my actions.”
“Huh. He’s no fun anymore. Hey, Prowl?”
“Yes?”
“I missed you, and I missed doing this with you. I’m sorry it took me so long and getting cuffed to you to get me to say it.”
“… I’m sorry that I needed the same.”
“So… next project, work on Red Alert until he caves?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, this’ll be fun.”
'Verse: G1 Transformers
Characters: Ensemble.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: TF cussing. Crack. Dialogue only.
“Hi!”
“Can I help you?”
“Yeah. I could use a CPU like yours looking over something for me.”
“If I can be of service I don’t mind- … What is this?”
“Looks like a blast, don’t it?”
“I can’t help you with this!”
“You can, and you want to. You just don’t think you’d get away with it. Maybe you want to put those fancy upgrades of yours to work and see if you can make it so, hm?”
“… I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“Neither can I, but I'm already looking forward to doing it again.”
= = =
“Hey, take a look at this.”
“… You know I can’t. The promotion…”
“You’re still the same mech under the new rank and all. The only thing that’s changed is that you’ve got more datapads to slog through.”
“I also have to set an example.”
“Alright, alright. Later then?”
“Later. And be more circumspect about it too.”
“Heh. Got it.”
= = =
“… I heard.”
“So has every bot on Cybertron, I believe.”
“I’m sorry.”
“…I won’t stop you from carrying on. They’ll need the distraction it provides. But you understand why I can’t…”
“Yeah. It’s okay. I’ll stop asking you to help me. He’s dropped out too.”
“Here.”
“What’s this?”
“The last one you two passed me. I’d finished looking at it before- … Make it good.”
“I will.”
= = =
“Prime!”
“Yes, Ironhide?”
“You’ve got Jazz as your TIC?!”
“Is there a problem?”
“Yeah. He and Sentinel’s SIC don’t exactly get along. And I hear you’re keeping Prowl on in that capacity.”
“They don’t? But-”
“You’re new to the Autobots and Command and all, so you don’t know. They’ll play nice, but you won’t catch either of them in the other’s company unless it’s for work, and even then they try and keep that to a minimum.”
“… Oh.”
“Yeah, we’re not sure why, could be just that they’re complete opposites in character, but there’s always been rumours it was something more personal. No one’s particularly willing to ask.”
“I see. Still, they’re the two best qualified for the positions, and we need them there too much to settle for anyone else. I believe they can be professional about it.”
“Yeah. Professional. I hope you like it cold, Prime. You’re going to be right smack dab between them in the meetings.”
= = =
“You got it?”
“Yeah, but are you really serious about doing this? I mean, why mess with something that’s been that way for as long as we can remember?”
“Because it’s not good that the bots in High Command don’t like each other.”
“And this scheme of yours is supposed to make them… what?”
“If they’re stuck with each other, then they’ll have to learn how to deal with each other, and maybe that’ll make them a little friendlier with each other.”
“Or maybe they’ll team up to shred your little plan to bits and hand you your skidplate, then go right back to ignoring each other whenever possible.”
“Maybe.”
“You’re just bored and think it’ll be fun to watch the chaos.”
“That too.”
= = =
“… I am going to kill him.”
“Hey, we need all the bots we can keep alive. And Ratchet will be very unhappy with you for undoing all the work he’s done in that regard with regards to that particular mech.”
“We are handcuffed together, with non-regulation energon restraints, to which the key has been somehow misplaced, all because Sideswipe wanted to show you a sleight of hand trick and I happened to be unfortunate enough to be in your vicinity.”
“I’m sure he’ll find the key soon. I thought the look on your face would have scared him into chewing the cuffs apart, actually.”
“We both have work to do and duties to perform. We can’t do either with any sort of efficiency like this.”
“We’ll manage. You can easily rearrange a few schedules, and I’m pretty adaptable. C’mon, the sooner you get to your office, the less time things will have to degenerate into a mess. … A bigger mess.”
“… Wonderful.”
= = =
“… Say it.”
“No.”
“I was right.”
“No, you weren’t. They haven’t done anything but carry on as usual, only now, they have to do everything together.”
“And a right fun time it’s been with them unable to get more than an arm’s reach away from each other! My plating’s about to shatter from the fragging chill in the base!”
“Quit being such a sparkling about it. They’ll have to- Argh!”
“Frag, what is that stuff?!”
“It’s moving! Getitoffme!”
“And get it on me? No thanks. I’m going to find Ratchet. You stay put.”
= = =
“Well?”
“I… have no explanation. He was covered in this grey slimy stuff when I left to get you and shrieking his circuits to pieces.”
“And now he’s… recharging like a sparkling.”
“Yeah.”
“And he’s bright purple.”
“Yeah.”
“… Well. At least it’s an improvement over the pain in the aft your brother normally is. Now help me get him to the med bay.”
“You want to fix this?”
“Frag no. I want to find out how he got this way so I can make it happen again.”
= = =
“Prowl? Prowl! Are you in there?”
“Little busy right now, Bluestreak. Can you come back later?”
“Jazz? What are you two doi… Oh Primus, do I even want to know… Datapads?”
“Heh, s’quite an imagination you’ve got, Blue’.”
“We still have our jobs to do, even if we’re stuck together.”
“And if I’m helping Prowl, it means I get to my office that much faster.”
“Why not just bring your work over?”
“Because if our respective workloads ever met, we’d probably end up flattened under the pile. So, why were you looking for Prowl?”
“Prime wants to see him. Something about the recent spate of pranks and Red Alert being out of commission thanks to his reaction to the first one.”
“And me?”
“Since you can’t exactly leave Prowl, I guess you’ll have to sit in.”
“Eesh. I’ll bring one of Prowl’s slagging reports with me. It’ll still be more interesting another meeting on policy and regulations.”
= = =
“Wow. Sideswipe’s still purple?”
“Seems like it doesn’t wash off.”
“Ooh! He’s changing colour!”
“… Huh. That’s actually kinda pretty- oh wait, my mistake, he wasn’t done.”
“… Eww. He looks like a colour blind slag sorter decided to make a sculpture out of whatever was handy.”
“At least he doesn’t smell?”
“… You had to say it, didn’t you? What are you doing?”
“Trying to think of what to say to get him to turn into something small and cute and harmless.”
= = =
“What the slag are you waiting for?! Get that key and uncuff them so they can find whoever’s doing this!”
“I can’t find it! I’ve practically torn our quarters apart!”
“Primus. That’s it. You’re recharging in the rec room until you stop smelling like… whatever it is you smell like. Frag.”
= = =
“… Why is the rec room green?”
“I’m more concerned about the fact that it’s glowing.”
“What, the orange furry thing in the corner not worthy of your attention then?”
“That’s just Sideswipe.”
“Oh. Alright then. So, how do we fix the green?”
= = =
“Optimus, I know you want the pranks stopped, but with our usual suspect also being our primary victim, I’m rather at a loss for leads.”
“And with the both of us stuck like this, it’s not like we can go tracking down anyone without warning them we’re coming.”
“Has Sideswipe found that key yet?”
“No sir.”
“Wheeljack’s still too occupied by that Decepticon blueprint analysis to figure out a solution?”
“Yes sir.”
“Ratchet’s still too low on supplies to build one of you another hand?”
“Yes sir.”
“… It’s going to be a long, long decacycle, isn’t it?”
“Yes sir.”
= = =
“Oh, hey Red! Welcome back to the land of the un-fritzed.”
“… This chaos is all your fault, isn’t it.”
“It’s Sideswipe’s, actually. He cuffed us together.”
“Rrrgh. Of all the idiotic things to do. You’re too much of a bad influence, and Prowl’s too tempting a resource to stick you two together!”
“Look, we were trying to be good, really. And it worked up until he stuck his nasal plates into our business. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d know.”
“Considering how many pains we took to make sure no one made certain connections, I would be surprised if he did.”
“So, how long are you going to torment everyone?”
“Well, I think we’ve about run dry.”
“Great. Now pick those restraints already. I know Jazz can take apart any lock, regulation or otherwise, and you, Prowl, are just a few variants behind him. … You have the slagging key. Of course. That means you’ve still got something planned, haven’t you?”
“Now Red, if I told you, you’d just fritz again and miss out. Unless you’d like to join in-”
“I’m going to the security room. Try and get me out, and I will not be held responsible for my actions.”
“Huh. He’s no fun anymore. Hey, Prowl?”
“Yes?”
“I missed you, and I missed doing this with you. I’m sorry it took me so long and getting cuffed to you to get me to say it.”
“… I’m sorry that I needed the same.”
“So… next project, work on Red Alert until he caves?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, this’ll be fun.”
