Dear Primus, they're everywhere.
Aug. 31st, 2009 11:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ante_luceThis is crack. Crack based off of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sanjuno's Rings 'verse, because I've read it and the accompanying gift fics too many times for it to be healthy. In my defence, there are a lot of Autobot!seekers in yon 'verse.
Title: Deluge
'Verse: G1 Transformers.sanjuno's Rings 'verse.
Characters: Jazz. Prowl.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: TF cussing. Crack. Not!canon for anything
“Prowler?”
“What is it, Jazz?”
“Uh… I’ve got something to tell you.”
“What did you do now?”
“Hey!”
“Jazz”
“Right, right. Get on with it, I know. Um… I’mactuallyaseekerandI’mreallysorry’boutnottellingyoubutIthoughtyouknewsince you’rePraxianbutitturnsoutyouweren’tactuallybroughtupinPraxusandyoudon’t.Pleasedon’thatemebecausethatwouldreally reallysuckslag.”
Prowl blinked, then raised an optic ridge and spoke, his tone dry. “Jazz. Try that again, with normal speech patterns this time.”
The Porsche fidgeted, wringing his hands until the Datsun sighed and gently took hold of them.
“I’m a seeker, Prowl. Sparked and raised, but reformatted to enter the Autobots, like a lot of other seekers did. I thought you knew how to tell ‘cos your frame was Praxian, but then Blue’, he’s seeker-kin, which is kinda like a seeker but not, told me you were adopted out and weren’t raised in Praxus, so you missed out on the memo that Praxians are seeker-kin, the grounded variants of the seeker type, and then we had to keep it from you because it was supposed to be a secret and only the outsiders who are allowed to know are those who get brought into the fold. And I’m telling you now because I really do love you and if you’re agreeable to it I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so please don’t hate me?”
The SIC paused, running the Ops mech’s speech through his processors once more, before he chuckled. “… I was wondering if you’d ever decide to tell me.”
“… Come again?” Jazz’s mouth hung open, and Prowl tipped it shut before moving to the desk in his quarters to pull out a datapad, which he handed to his stunned lover.
“Here.”
The saboteur took the item and scrolled through the first file he saw, visor growing bright with shock before he glanced back up. “… Mech, you got bots on here that I didn’t even know were seekers. Or seeker affiliated.”
“Slipping, aren’t we, Jazz?”
The Porsche huffed air at the other black and white before continuing through the data. “Prowl… Just… How? You weren’t supposed to know any of this. If we have a leak…”
“Don’t get too worked up over it. It took me quite a while to amass the data, and a lot of it is conjecture.”
“Your ‘conjectures’ often end up as fact, mech. Oh Primus, my head’s spinning.”
The visored mech slid into the nearest chair, and the tactician shrugged, leaning against the table and facing him.
“It’s true that I was adopted, but I was never from Praxus. My creators were very taken with the Praxian frame, and decided if they couldn’t adopt a Praxian sparkling, they’d get the next best thing and upgrade the one they managed to adopt in that style.”
“Frag, Prowler.” Jazz looked up again in alarm, and Prowl smiled at him reassuringly.
“They did love me. You don’t have to be concerned about that. It was difficult, of course, not having the required programs to fully utilise my upgrades, but one adapts as one must. I’d say I’ve learnt my way around my chassis in a satisfactory manner by now, though when I first met Smokescreen, it was a different matter.”
“Well, no wonder he thought you were glitched. He was expecting you to react like seeker-kin to his signals, and you didn’t know what half of them were.”
“I didn’t know that they were signals in the first place. My adoption soon leaked, and it was easier to let them believe I was a… how do you put it? ‘Stolen one’?”
“Yeah.” The Porsche looked back at the datapad again. “There’s a lot of mechs here.”
“The entire crew of the Ark.”
“Oh, now you’ve got to explain some of them. Cosmos? Cliffjumper?”
“The minibots flock. They tend to go unnoticed about the Ark, and even back on Cybertron. They report to Bumblebee, and he reports to you. A perfect information gathering system.”
“The twins?”
“Reformatted to join Bluestreak, their groundbound trinemate. Sideswipe has doorwings, Sunstreaker’s psychotic.”
“Losing the wings completely was never going to be a good thing, but they wanted to reduce suspicion, and Sides helps ground him. Smokescreen, well, you know about Smokey already.”
“And his trinemates, Skids and Tracks. Doorwings and flight.”
“Ratchet?”
“Allied. He keeps a particular watch over the seekers who took on grounder frames.”
“Wheeljack.”
“Has doorwings. Lone mech without a trine, seems to be forming one with Perceptor and Skyfire, which would eventually involve telling Perceptor the truth and breaking the news to Starscream. I foresee much fury over Skyfire dating walking health hazards.”
“… Optimus?”
“Non-seeker bondmate to Elita-1. Elita originally being a seeker named Ariel who was attracted to Orion Pax, changing forms to get closer. Quite a coup for the seekers, that.”
“Ariel became Elita-1? Her trine reported losing their connection to her after Megatron attacked them.” Jazz groaned, and the chevroned mech twitched doorwings in a nonchalant manner before going on.
“I suppose the reformat must have done that. Alpha Trion didn’t know about her origins. Her trine, Chromia and Moonracer, I presume, took grounded frames when she did.”
“Yup. They reformatted those frames again when they thought Ariel had deactivated. Afraid that Megatron would go after them as well. And from Chromia, you probably figured out Ironhide.” The Ops mech sounded resigned, and the tactician nodded.
“You expected me to accept our weapons master can’t terminate a seeker at twenty paces, when he’s taken down bigger and stronger opponents? He had to be allied with your lot too.”
“Point. Arcee?”
“Non-seeker. Possibly bonding with the partial trine of Springer and Hot Rod, a flier and a mech whose impulsive tendencies mark him as one of the seekers from a mile away respectively.”
“Grapple and Hoist.”
“Hoist is allied through Ratchet. Grapple is his bonded, and doesn’t know yet.”
“The Aerialbots.”
“Went to the Decepticons and were returned without a scratch. I suspect the seekers just wanted to snuggle their newest sparklings.”
“Starscream is going to deny that ‘til his vocalisers short out.”
“I expect him to. If it’s possible, get Wheeljack and Skyfire to let him know about their relationship only after that happens.”
“Got it. The Protectobots?”
“Built by Wheeljack and Ratchet. Non-seekers, but I have little doubt which side they’d take if everything was revealed. The same goes for the Dinobots.”
“Mirage?”
“Mixed heritage, took on a grounded frame to avoid backlash from the Towers. Possibly trining with Trailbreaker and Hound, both Stolen, if my analysis of their backgrounds and records is correct. I'm not sure if they've found that out yet.”
“Red Alert.”
“Seeker, untrined, lost his wings completely, like Sunstreaker. Starscream’s ex-sparkmate. Or perhaps not quite yet. They had a fight, I believe?”
“Big one. Inferno spent ages playing referee. They’re working things out between them.”
“Hm, I wasn’t sure about Inferno. Good to know.”
“Eesh. Blaster?”
“Your best friend since you were a youngling. I find it hard to believe he doesn’t know, unless you reformatted that early.”
“Okay, you got me there.” Jazz tilted his helm back, visor flicking off for a moment. Then he looked at Prowl, shaking his head in wonder. “Figures. The one mech we thought was a seeker but expected to not know anything isn’t a seeker and has more figured out than we do.”
“It has made my job easier, what with the Decepticon seekers not outright trying to kill most of us. But there are still the other Decepticons to consider, which is why you haven’t pulled a big reveal yet, I presume?”
“Got that right. Though with everyone in the Ark possibly seeker sided, we can step up on the plan now.”
“Does this plan involve disposing of Megatron and neutralising the Decepticon forces?”
“It’s a big consideration. Difficult to keep things peaceful with the ‘Cons around, even if they’ll be just remnants.”
The Datsun cycled air slowly while considering the Ops mech’s answer. “Good enough. I’ll suppose I should let you go report to Starscream now, shouldn’t I?”
“Primus, I’ll need to make sure TC and ‘Warp are with him. They’re the only ones over there who can shut him up when he gets going. Ugh, you’d think he’d’ve learnt to keep his voice down by now.” Jazz grumbled as he rose to leave, and Prowl smiled, wrapping his arms about the Porsche in a supportive gesture.
“Hurry back, Jazz.”
At the visored mech’s puzzled look, he elaborated, tone just a little sly. “Or have you decided that you don’t really love me and no longer want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
At the panicked squeak that escaped Jazz’s vocaliser, Prowl actually laughed, leaning down to brush a kiss on the mech’s nasal bridge, softly murmuring his next words. “Because my answer was yes. So hurry back. I believe there’s quite a bit of doing associated with this kind of thing.”
The saboteur started cycling air again, dropping his helm forward onto the doorwinged mech’s shoulder with an aggravated sound. “Y’gonna be the death of my anxiety routines, Prowler.”
“You frequently wreck havoc on my logic ones. I’d say it’s only fair.”
Jazz laughed as well, then pulled his lover into a long, lingering kiss, both their intakes working hard once they parted. “I’ll be right back.”
“Mmm. I should hope so. Or else I’ll go looking for you.”
The Porsche grinned. “Promise? If you jumped me while I’m talking to Starscream, it’d fry his processor and we can get on with more important things.”
“Just go already, Jazz. Have Red Alert take over if you need to.” The Datsun gently steered his lover out the door, giving him an encouraging shove in the right direction.
“And what will you do in the meantime?” Jazz asked, looking back at his tactician. Prowl smirked and shut the door in his face. Through it, the visored mech heard the mech reply.
“You’ll find out when you return, Jazz. Not before.”
The saboteur stared at the closed door, then at the datapad still in his hand.
“Frag. A kingdom for my wings once more.” Then he transformed and shot off in the direction of the comms room, driving like the Pit was after him.
sanjuno's Rings 'verse, because I've read it and the accompanying gift fics too many times for it to be healthy. In my defence, there are a lot of Autobot!seekers in yon 'verse.Title: Deluge
'Verse: G1 Transformers.
sanjuno's Rings 'verse.Characters: Jazz. Prowl.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: TF cussing. Crack. Not!canon for anything
“Prowler?”
“What is it, Jazz?”
“Uh… I’ve got something to tell you.”
“What did you do now?”
“Hey!”
“Jazz”
“Right, right. Get on with it, I know. Um… I’mactuallyaseekerandI’mreallysorry’boutnottellingyoubutIthoughtyouknewsince you’rePraxianbutitturnsoutyouweren’tactuallybroughtupinPraxusandyoudon’t.Pleasedon’thatemebecausethatwouldreally reallysuckslag.”
Prowl blinked, then raised an optic ridge and spoke, his tone dry. “Jazz. Try that again, with normal speech patterns this time.”
The Porsche fidgeted, wringing his hands until the Datsun sighed and gently took hold of them.
“I’m a seeker, Prowl. Sparked and raised, but reformatted to enter the Autobots, like a lot of other seekers did. I thought you knew how to tell ‘cos your frame was Praxian, but then Blue’, he’s seeker-kin, which is kinda like a seeker but not, told me you were adopted out and weren’t raised in Praxus, so you missed out on the memo that Praxians are seeker-kin, the grounded variants of the seeker type, and then we had to keep it from you because it was supposed to be a secret and only the outsiders who are allowed to know are those who get brought into the fold. And I’m telling you now because I really do love you and if you’re agreeable to it I want to spend the rest of my life with you, so please don’t hate me?”
The SIC paused, running the Ops mech’s speech through his processors once more, before he chuckled. “… I was wondering if you’d ever decide to tell me.”
“… Come again?” Jazz’s mouth hung open, and Prowl tipped it shut before moving to the desk in his quarters to pull out a datapad, which he handed to his stunned lover.
“Here.”
The saboteur took the item and scrolled through the first file he saw, visor growing bright with shock before he glanced back up. “… Mech, you got bots on here that I didn’t even know were seekers. Or seeker affiliated.”
“Slipping, aren’t we, Jazz?”
The Porsche huffed air at the other black and white before continuing through the data. “Prowl… Just… How? You weren’t supposed to know any of this. If we have a leak…”
“Don’t get too worked up over it. It took me quite a while to amass the data, and a lot of it is conjecture.”
“Your ‘conjectures’ often end up as fact, mech. Oh Primus, my head’s spinning.”
The visored mech slid into the nearest chair, and the tactician shrugged, leaning against the table and facing him.
“It’s true that I was adopted, but I was never from Praxus. My creators were very taken with the Praxian frame, and decided if they couldn’t adopt a Praxian sparkling, they’d get the next best thing and upgrade the one they managed to adopt in that style.”
“Frag, Prowler.” Jazz looked up again in alarm, and Prowl smiled at him reassuringly.
“They did love me. You don’t have to be concerned about that. It was difficult, of course, not having the required programs to fully utilise my upgrades, but one adapts as one must. I’d say I’ve learnt my way around my chassis in a satisfactory manner by now, though when I first met Smokescreen, it was a different matter.”
“Well, no wonder he thought you were glitched. He was expecting you to react like seeker-kin to his signals, and you didn’t know what half of them were.”
“I didn’t know that they were signals in the first place. My adoption soon leaked, and it was easier to let them believe I was a… how do you put it? ‘Stolen one’?”
“Yeah.” The Porsche looked back at the datapad again. “There’s a lot of mechs here.”
“The entire crew of the Ark.”
“Oh, now you’ve got to explain some of them. Cosmos? Cliffjumper?”
“The minibots flock. They tend to go unnoticed about the Ark, and even back on Cybertron. They report to Bumblebee, and he reports to you. A perfect information gathering system.”
“The twins?”
“Reformatted to join Bluestreak, their groundbound trinemate. Sideswipe has doorwings, Sunstreaker’s psychotic.”
“Losing the wings completely was never going to be a good thing, but they wanted to reduce suspicion, and Sides helps ground him. Smokescreen, well, you know about Smokey already.”
“And his trinemates, Skids and Tracks. Doorwings and flight.”
“Ratchet?”
“Allied. He keeps a particular watch over the seekers who took on grounder frames.”
“Wheeljack.”
“Has doorwings. Lone mech without a trine, seems to be forming one with Perceptor and Skyfire, which would eventually involve telling Perceptor the truth and breaking the news to Starscream. I foresee much fury over Skyfire dating walking health hazards.”
“… Optimus?”
“Non-seeker bondmate to Elita-1. Elita originally being a seeker named Ariel who was attracted to Orion Pax, changing forms to get closer. Quite a coup for the seekers, that.”
“Ariel became Elita-1? Her trine reported losing their connection to her after Megatron attacked them.” Jazz groaned, and the chevroned mech twitched doorwings in a nonchalant manner before going on.
“I suppose the reformat must have done that. Alpha Trion didn’t know about her origins. Her trine, Chromia and Moonracer, I presume, took grounded frames when she did.”
“Yup. They reformatted those frames again when they thought Ariel had deactivated. Afraid that Megatron would go after them as well. And from Chromia, you probably figured out Ironhide.” The Ops mech sounded resigned, and the tactician nodded.
“You expected me to accept our weapons master can’t terminate a seeker at twenty paces, when he’s taken down bigger and stronger opponents? He had to be allied with your lot too.”
“Point. Arcee?”
“Non-seeker. Possibly bonding with the partial trine of Springer and Hot Rod, a flier and a mech whose impulsive tendencies mark him as one of the seekers from a mile away respectively.”
“Grapple and Hoist.”
“Hoist is allied through Ratchet. Grapple is his bonded, and doesn’t know yet.”
“The Aerialbots.”
“Went to the Decepticons and were returned without a scratch. I suspect the seekers just wanted to snuggle their newest sparklings.”
“Starscream is going to deny that ‘til his vocalisers short out.”
“I expect him to. If it’s possible, get Wheeljack and Skyfire to let him know about their relationship only after that happens.”
“Got it. The Protectobots?”
“Built by Wheeljack and Ratchet. Non-seekers, but I have little doubt which side they’d take if everything was revealed. The same goes for the Dinobots.”
“Mirage?”
“Mixed heritage, took on a grounded frame to avoid backlash from the Towers. Possibly trining with Trailbreaker and Hound, both Stolen, if my analysis of their backgrounds and records is correct. I'm not sure if they've found that out yet.”
“Red Alert.”
“Seeker, untrined, lost his wings completely, like Sunstreaker. Starscream’s ex-sparkmate. Or perhaps not quite yet. They had a fight, I believe?”
“Big one. Inferno spent ages playing referee. They’re working things out between them.”
“Hm, I wasn’t sure about Inferno. Good to know.”
“Eesh. Blaster?”
“Your best friend since you were a youngling. I find it hard to believe he doesn’t know, unless you reformatted that early.”
“Okay, you got me there.” Jazz tilted his helm back, visor flicking off for a moment. Then he looked at Prowl, shaking his head in wonder. “Figures. The one mech we thought was a seeker but expected to not know anything isn’t a seeker and has more figured out than we do.”
“It has made my job easier, what with the Decepticon seekers not outright trying to kill most of us. But there are still the other Decepticons to consider, which is why you haven’t pulled a big reveal yet, I presume?”
“Got that right. Though with everyone in the Ark possibly seeker sided, we can step up on the plan now.”
“Does this plan involve disposing of Megatron and neutralising the Decepticon forces?”
“It’s a big consideration. Difficult to keep things peaceful with the ‘Cons around, even if they’ll be just remnants.”
The Datsun cycled air slowly while considering the Ops mech’s answer. “Good enough. I’ll suppose I should let you go report to Starscream now, shouldn’t I?”
“Primus, I’ll need to make sure TC and ‘Warp are with him. They’re the only ones over there who can shut him up when he gets going. Ugh, you’d think he’d’ve learnt to keep his voice down by now.” Jazz grumbled as he rose to leave, and Prowl smiled, wrapping his arms about the Porsche in a supportive gesture.
“Hurry back, Jazz.”
At the visored mech’s puzzled look, he elaborated, tone just a little sly. “Or have you decided that you don’t really love me and no longer want to spend the rest of your life with me?”
At the panicked squeak that escaped Jazz’s vocaliser, Prowl actually laughed, leaning down to brush a kiss on the mech’s nasal bridge, softly murmuring his next words. “Because my answer was yes. So hurry back. I believe there’s quite a bit of doing associated with this kind of thing.”
The saboteur started cycling air again, dropping his helm forward onto the doorwinged mech’s shoulder with an aggravated sound. “Y’gonna be the death of my anxiety routines, Prowler.”
“You frequently wreck havoc on my logic ones. I’d say it’s only fair.”
Jazz laughed as well, then pulled his lover into a long, lingering kiss, both their intakes working hard once they parted. “I’ll be right back.”
“Mmm. I should hope so. Or else I’ll go looking for you.”
The Porsche grinned. “Promise? If you jumped me while I’m talking to Starscream, it’d fry his processor and we can get on with more important things.”
“Just go already, Jazz. Have Red Alert take over if you need to.” The Datsun gently steered his lover out the door, giving him an encouraging shove in the right direction.
“And what will you do in the meantime?” Jazz asked, looking back at his tactician. Prowl smirked and shut the door in his face. Through it, the visored mech heard the mech reply.
“You’ll find out when you return, Jazz. Not before.”
The saboteur stared at the closed door, then at the datapad still in his hand.
“Frag. A kingdom for my wings once more.” Then he transformed and shot off in the direction of the comms room, driving like the Pit was after him.
